Some surprising things I have learnt about pregnancy (part 2)

So, 21 weeks ago (!) I wrote about how I’d found the first trimester of my pregnancy. I can’t quite believe how time has flown, really, which I suppose can be put down as one more thing I have learnt. It’s like some kind of Harry Potter spell in which your life flashes before your eyes.

One of the things I’ve noticed about being pregnant is that as soon as your news/bump becomes noticed, you sort of (in some people’s eyes, not all) become public property. Things that would never be uttered to you in a normal situation become horrified comments- I’ve been taken to task for:

  • dyeing my hair: with henna- which the NHS website says is OK.
  • eating a bag of crisps: because it’ll make getting rid of baby weight ‘harder’, as if I’m troughing through a multipack of Walkers everyday.
  • eating Tesco sushi: which, in this country is OK (as long as you buy it from somewhere like Tesco), because supermarkets flash freeze fish. Also, it was vegetarian sushi. Additionally, no one else’s damn business.

People also love to comment on your weight in general. Because that’s acceptable in polite, British society. To be honest, I’ve eaten fairly sensibly and haven’t really put much extra weight on. But if I had, it would be no-one’s issue but mine. Concern trolling seems to be part and parcel of pregnancy, alas. As if I’m not making sensible, conscious decisions about the health of myself or my baby… sigh.

However, other things that have surprised me:

  • My belly button hasn’t popped out- I’m a bit disappointed about this one. With three weeks to go, it may do so, but I’m not holding my breath.
  • Apparently, there’s a law somewhere that says EVERY PREGNANT WOMAN MUST OWN AT LEAST ONE TOP WITH HORIZONTAL STRIPES. Because we need to emphasise our growing girth, right?
  • I’ve had really strong cravings for mulled wine. I’m not a big drinker, but oh.my.word. As soon as it’s socially acceptable, I’ll have to have some. Even if it’s just mulled apple juice.
  • I’ve found my feet swelling to be the most disconcerting thing recently. I bought a £6 pair of Tesco pumps. They are ridiculously unstylish, but SO comfortable. If you try and take them from me, I will beat you to death with them. Unfortunately, I am unable to fit into my boots that I bought a while back.
  • I’m so fed up of being roundhouse kicked in the liver by the next Chuck Norris that I have become rather zen about giving birth. This may not last, but at least it’s better than denial, right?

Things that have not surprised me:

  • Lady, I have no interest in seeing pictures of your birth on the internet. Just, no.
  • Although I don’t mind occassional pictures of children on Facebook etc, I still find overkill boring (I will not be one of those parents, thank you very much.) Cat pictures, on the other hand…
  • I eventually regained my love of chocolate. Especially Kinder Buenos.

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2 thoughts on “Some surprising things I have learnt about pregnancy (part 2)

    • stephaniepomfrett says:

      I have been known to go to Artists’ Open Houses at Christmas specifically because they offer mulled wine. I rarely buy anything. I am a terrible person.

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